Trust in the Lord

I just received an amazing email from my little brother Jacob. He doesn’t seem to be so little any more. He is definitely growing up, and that excites me, yet that also means that he is no longer the little rascal he once was. I know that there are many great memories ahead, and that excites me! My sister Ellen is also growing up. It seems that as I came here to Vienna in the summer of 2009, everyone back in the states are really growing up. That is a bittersweet moment, because when I get back, I will be a little older too! This is the biggest step I have made in my life thus far, and wow, there is no turning back to childhood anymore. When I get back to the states, I will no longer officially be a teenager, which means new responsibilities, and new opportunities to grow.

A few thoughts on the past few weekends. Grandpa was in the hospital during Grandma Ellen’s 80th birthday. The next weekend, the father of Sharon Ready, (a good friend from my stake back home) suddenly past away. He was the rock of their family, and there are still a few young children at home with a mother who is ill. The emotions of the death of a loved one came flowing back. Death is a struggle to work through, but I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge of eternal families. One of my roommates from BYU last year went into the hospital because of hypothermia. The next weekend, Russell went on an adventure to walk from the Provo Temple to the Salt Lake Temple. On the way, he got dehydrated and had heat stroke, and ended up in the hospital after a few seizures. This past week, I found out that my three-week-old cousin Clarissa is struggling for life. After a few surgeries, she is doing better, but is on 24-hour watch in the hospital. We still don’t know how long she will make it. I also found out that one of my best friends will be married at the end of this year.

What a roller-coaster life! Life is so fragile, and I am so grateful for the knowledge that “all flesh is in His Hands.” So many times in the past month has the Lord given me a test. It is by no means been an easy ride, especially being across the world from all of my family when this is all going on. However, He never said that it would be easy. He never said, ‘Hillary, when you get to Austria, the language will just suddenly be in your head. Time is going to stop on the other side of the world, and everything will work out perfectly!” He has said however, “Trust in the Lord with all thy might, and lean not unto thine own understanding.” The Lord has really been teaching me that I need to truly put my trust in Him. He does know all things. He does have a plan for each of us. He does know which experiences we need to have in order to strengthen us individually. Life is not meant to be easy. Life is a test. It is a gift from God to be tested. “And if men come into me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)